Rise of the Skywalker

Are you kidding me?

Someone kick me in the nuts please , because I think I’m dreaming. Did the new Star Wars trailer just come out and is it really called, Rise of the Skywalker?!

Way to spit in the face of the Star Wars fans Disney – I mean you killed fucking Luke in the last movie, after raping him in the ass with spiky cucumbers in the Last Jedi. I know it has its fans, but I’m not one of them. The Last Jedi can suck my stubby dick.

When the new Star Wars trailer dropped on Friday, I had no idea. I remember counting down the day for the Last Jedi trailer – I couldn’t wait to see what would happen next in the new Star Wars films having loved The Force Awakens. Sure it wasn’t a perfect film, but compared to the Last Jedi, its fucking Gone with the Wind!

But I watched the trailer and wasn’t surprised to find all the nuggets to get the Star Wars fan base excited. Flash of old ass Lando and then end the trailer with the Emperor’s laughter – boom, bang, got’em!

You didn’t get me.

First, Land does nothing for me. I know he’s in the movie just to put asses in seats, because Disney knows they need some good old fashioned nostalgia! You know what they should have done, have the original cast reunite in the first fucking movie!!! How cool would have been to see the original heroes back in black and kicking First Order ass? You can introduce new characters around them, not bring them in only to kill them off one by one.

When I heard the Emperor’s laugh, I cringed. I swear the only way they can market these movies and to drum up money after the Last Jedi is throw in everything to get the nerds wet.

Well I’m not biting Disney.

The Last Jedi killed this new trilogy for me personally and will probably pass on seeing this one on the big screen. The movie that has me most excited this year is a zombie, comedy called THE DEAD DON’T DIE. That looks good. So does the new Tarantino movie, Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. Those movies can have my money – but Star Wars: Rise of the Skyfucker can fuck the hell off.

#notmystarwars

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