Month: March 2019

Become a Rhino

One thing you need to have in order to be a successful writer is a thick skin. First of all, let me just say, you’ll never make it in this business if you’re thin skinned. Why? Because not everyone is going to like your book.

Some people will say it sucks.

I remember when I self-published my first book, HOLY CRAP AND THE JUDGMENT DAY BLUES, over on Amazon – I was excited. I couldn’t wait to put my baby out there for mass consumption. In my head, I believed it would be this awesome bestseller and the reviews would all be spectacular. And while it sold, the few copies I managed to push, I waited for the praise to come rolling in.

The wait was agonizing in and of itself, but when the first ones came in, I was thrilled. I got a handful of four and five star reviews! I was on cloud nine, floating above the world on wings of pure amber. And then, like Icarus, I flew to close to the sun and got burned. I fell from the sky like the Fallen Star and hit the earth with my first negative review.

One fucking star. It was like getting shot.

When I read the comments, I was enraged. I wanted to email the reviewer and curse them out, I wanted to blow up their house and set fire to their children. I wanted payback. I remember reading the review a handful of times with my blood boiling – I even started writing a response to their heartless review. How dare they criticize my book and point out its flaws!

And then I stopped.

What was the point writing these people back? I mean, art is subjective. What works for one person isn’t going to work for another person, right? Some grammar errors easily overlooked by one person might really throw a person for a loop and take them right out of the story. It wasn’t the reviewers fault they didn’t like the book, it was mine as the author. Their points were as valid as the positive ones and I had to embrace that.

I stopped writing the hateful response. I calmed down. Not entirely, I mean when I go back and re-read it I still get a little upset. Its like you’re showing off you baby at work when one of your colleagues comes over and says, “That’s one ugly fucking baby.”

I will tell you more of my encounters with bad reviews and critiques in the upcoming blogs, but I thought I’d share this little bit of a truth nugget. Be ready for it, is all I’m saying. And if you can’t take negative feedback, don’t publish. Because you’re going to get it in fucking spades, especially on the internet.

Ride out your emotion. Know its okay to be disappointed and saddened by bad reviews. Hell, get mad. But then absorb it, take it in and analyze it carefully, constructively, and with an open mind and a gentle heart.

Then grow.

And if you run into them in the real world, punch them in the face.

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My First Panel

This past weekend I had the honor of attending Wordfest 2019 as a guest panelist. This was my first time, as a writer, to speak at an event.

And it was awesome.

I’ll admit, the first panel I sat on, I was nervous. Super nervous. Next to me was a Nebula Award winner and a writer I really respect and love (she’s a great speaker) Amanda Arista. I was honored to be among them and love spending our measly 45 minutes together.

In front of us was a packed house of about 50 writers, who dream of publishing their little babies some day, and were looking to us to help as if we were their personal literary messiahs.

But once the questions got rolling and everyone settled in, the first 45 minutes went by at Warp Factor 5. Before I knew it, it was over. I think the best advice I gave the people in attendance, my inspirational truth nugget:

“If you want to be a writer – write! Stop wasting time and giving yourself excuses to avoid it and get to fucking work.”

I didn’t say fuck – but I wanted to.

Beyond a doubt, if you want to be a success, you need invest time and effort on your craft by doing the following things:

1.) Write (set a reasonable goal and achieve it everyday – mine is at least 500 words)

2.) Read (if you’re not reading, then your not growing as writer.)

3.) Join a Writers Group (join a group that you feel comfortable in – one that has both published and unpublished authors, who give great advice.)

4.) Write more (duh)

5.) Go to Writer’s Conferences (network, network, network)

I had a second panel the same day, later in the morning. This one was a lot of fun, because I got talk about the rude awakening that was my first writer’s class in college (a tale I’ll weave for ya’ll on another dark and stormy night).

All in all it was fantastic and I loved every minute of the event. I met some great people, and a few strange. I learned a lot about the craft of writing and hung out with some amazing authors. I also got a few offers to go to some other writing events, which I am very interested in pursuing a bit later, so yeah, it was a great weekend.

Coming up, I will be telling you the tales of my college days as well as some groovy background insight into my novel THE WRETCHED, so please look forward to that. My goal is to write a new blog entry every 2 to 3 days pending on workload and inspiration.

Thanks for reading!

Public Speaking Event Blues

Hello, dear readers, just an update.

Tomorrow, I am the humble guest on two writing panels at Wordfest 2019. I’m pretty excited, seeing as this is the first time I’m actually going as more than just an unpublished author seeking guidance.

Now I’m giving guidance!

There is a link below, so if you’re in the area and want to meet your favorite author on the planet, come out. I’ll be signing books and inspiring minds!

Isn’t that scary?

A little.

No photo description available.

And just a friendly reminder – buy my book.

It’s good.

Link is here for KINDLE

If you want a physical copy, which are my favorites, click the link and you can find a kick ass copy for purchase. Please buy the book Barnes and Noble think is too offensive for their precious shelves.

Tear the Wall Down

This is going to piss people off, and you know what, I don’t care. What I’m about to say needs to not only be heard, but accepted. Are you listening?

Good.

Inclusivity is bullshit.

There has been a major push in recent years for all artistic mediums to be more inclusive. Agents in major publishing houses are now actively looking for under represented writers for their author lists instead of good books written by talented creators. There is an active demand for books with gay romances at their core, transgender main characters, and more diversity in a book’s cast of characters. Usually this stuff doesn’t bother me, I could care less about the gender or race of a character (or writer), so long as the story is good.

But that isn’t what’s happening.

Agents, editors, even writers – have now and gone putting political agendas and ideologies at the forefront of their work rather than carefully weaving it into a beautifully crafted narrative. The character’s trait isn’t three-dimensional, but solely based on their sexual orientation or racial identity.  

And its bullshit.

When I was kid growing up in the 80’s, I was tall and extremely skinny.

I was jealous of toothpicks.

People thought I was dying of testicular cancer and my balls hadn’t even dropped yet. Back then, heroes in comics and films were massive body builder types like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone,  Hulk Hogan, and fucking Mr. T. I never looked at these icons and thought, “Where is my representation? Where is a skinny, sickly fuck to save the world?”

Comics were no different.

And you know what, I didn’t give a damn so long as the story they told was captivating.

People forget why we read, watch movies, and dive headlong into a videogame. It isn’t to find my representation or someone who looks like me. But to escape.

I used to live in China, during the whole Harry Potter craze. And I kid you not, everyone in China was reading those books, and getting lost in the adventures of some of the whitest fucking characters ever be put to page.

Do you think they gave a shit there weren’t many Asian characters in the book to relate to? Fuck no. They loved the adventure, the magic, and the world created by J.K. Rowling. Do blacks get upset that there are no black hobbits in Lord of the Rings? Do Latino’s bitch and moan that their aren’t more Latino’s in in Star Trek? No, because the story being told is great.

The only people who get upset are sad, sacks of shit whose entire identity is based on their race, gender, or sexual orientation. The rest of us can let go and enjoy stories told about other races and sexes with reckless abandon. When I watched the Color Purple, I don’t sit there going – where’s the fucking white dude!? I got lost in the tale and expertly written characters.

And those saying, “We need more Asian representation in movies,” are fucking dumb. China, Japan, and Korea have a rich, thriving film industry that produces great content for that demand. Hell, you want to watch good zombie flicks stop watching the bullshit made in the US and start watching Korean programs like the Train to Busan or Kingdom! The Walking Dead has nothing on these properties.

And if you want to talk about representation, I saw a bunch of movies while living in China, and in those movies white characters are always either villains or fucking retarded. Sure, I rolled my eyes more times than I would want while watching a Chinese film, but it never offended me. I’m still a huge fan of Chinese Sword Fantasies and Hong Kong cinema from the late 80’s and 90’s.

If you want to be a good writer, create characters that fit your narrative and make them interesting, with flaws and goals and a fucking character arch! If you have political ideas you want to explore, do it smartly – like Orwell in 1984 or John Carpenter’s They Live. It can be done. And it can be done creatively and effectively.

As a writer, as a fucking artist, don’t feel pressured to twist your nipples to add diversity or inclusivity into the book your writing. Just write. And write well. In my novel, Holy Crap and the Judgment Day Blues, I have a gay protagonist. I didn’t do it to get woke points or for some political agenda, I did it because it fit the narrative.

So write.

Create.

And remember, inclusivity is bullshit.

The “Wretched” Black Listed

My novel, at the time of writing this piece, has been black listed by Barnes and Noble. They have given me no explanation to their hasty decision to remove my book from their website after being previously approved.

As a young writer, imagine how excited I was to see my book being offered on Barnes and Noble. I told everyone to check it out. I screamed it from the roof tops until my neighbors called the police (the bastards).

It was on the site for one day.

One.

My publisher and I both believe it was because of the controversial cover, which pokes fun at the Satanic Bible. Besides a small, purple dildo in the far left hand corner, there isn’t anything that vile about the cover – nothing worthy of being black listed from their website. I saw a book being sold there called “Not your Phocking Motivational Coach,”by Jenna Jameson showing a man sticking his face in his teacher’s ass.

Let me repeat that in case you missed it – a man sticking his head in his teacher’s ass!

My book is not okay, but that is perfectly fine to be sold in their stores. And there are other examples.

The novel “Snuff” by Chuck Palahniuk has a sex doll’s mouth on the cover and follows a woman experiencing her first gang bang (its a good book). They sell Hentai books like this one and a book called the “Haunted Vagina,” but my book about redemption and forgiveness is too vile, too disgusting to be sold on their precious platform.

When they have a book called, “Big Dicked Woman Meets the Man with a Vagina,” they lose all fucking creditably.

So please continue to support my novel over on Amazon. At least they got balls.

And so it goes.

A Real Big Blog In the Butt

The hardest thing about keeping a blog is the creation of content on a regular basis. There is a real pressure there to write, write, write.

Write what?

This is the hard part – trying to think of something interesting to say, something to inspire a click or a read or a visit from some random stranger on the endless byways of the internet between YouTube clips and pornography.

Truth be told, I have no fucking idea.

My last blog talking about bullying seemed to strike a cord with people, so is that what I should focus on – my miserable, fucked up life at the end of some piece of shit’s boot?

Not tonight.

Instead, I will inform you all of my new SCI-FI, YA novel I’m working on called Threshold and how this damn thing is slowly killing me. I’m over 50,000 words in and a big, fat ugly wall known as Writer’s Block decided to settle itself between me and my creative self.

Slowly, very slowly, I’ve been working through it – chiseling through the bedrock like
Andy Dufresne did his cell wall in Shawshank Redemption. I’ve crawled through the shit, just like him, and appear to be on the way out of the tunnel – I see before me the light of the story’s conclusion, and now push forward with renewed vigor.

The end draws nigh.

I’m shooting for 80 to 85,000 words and believe I can get there soon if the story continues to flow better.

I want to finish the book, this first draft, within the next month or two. After that, I will start shopping around for an agent and from there, make my millions of dollars.

And so it goes.

A Lesson Learned

I just wanted to share a story, a walk down memory lane if your nasty.

Imagine if you will a young man, with shoulder length, brown hair and glasses the sizes of small planets. Oh, the frames were pink (another story for another day). I was new to my school, having just moved from Texas to Indiana.

This was sixth grade.

This was 1991 (I think), my memory isn’t so good. Too much booze and crack.

Anyway.

I was excited to be back in Indiana, my family is originally from Lafayette, so I thought the move would be good.

It wasn’t.

You see, kids back in my elementary school had gotten to know me pretty well as the quiet kid who liked drawing monsters and writing horror stories. I was the kid who checked out tons of books on vampires, zombies, and all sorts of mythological beasties. I’m not sure if they liked me back then, but I didn’t feel out of place or judged.

Indiana was different.

I remember sitting in my first class and working on a short horror story. I didn’t think much of it, just doing my thing when suddenly the girl in front of  me, a girl I thought was kind of cute, turned around and looked at me.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Writing a story,” I answered.

“About what?”

“A monster that wakes up from a long slumber and starts eating a bunch of people.”

“Are you a Satanist?”

“No.”

“You’re a Satanist.”

The next thing I knew, this girl (whose name will remain hidden to protect the judgmental cunt) started telling everyone around her that I worshipped Satan. By the end of the day, I had gone from the quiet new kid, to the new kid who worshipped the Devil. It destroyed me and forever damaged my reputation at school. It didn’t help me get dates either, if you can imagine. This was in Greenwood, the school was Greenwood Middle School.

It recently got tore down.

I didn’t give a fuck.

I got tore down, it’s only poetic justice for that fucker to be torn down too.

And so it goes.

The Cover: An Origin Story

                The Wretched is my new novel, published by Burning Bulb Publications – and it debuted just under a week ago. And it has sold millions of copies.

                Okay, maybe not millions – but at least a few dozen! Yeah, that sounds about right – a few dozen copies in both its electronic and paperback format. As a babe in the literary world, I know the Wretched has a long mountain to climb if its going to be a success for both myself and my publisher, who is probably wondering if taking a chance on this particular novel was a good idea or not.

                And so it goes.

                I say it was a wonderful idea, brilliant – one they will not live to regret.

                They are saying, “Well, let us wait and see.”

                The reason I’m writing this blog is to give a little background about the cover. It was designed by a good friend of mine, an incredibly awesome artist, named Charles Shane Stanley. If you like it and want him to work on your novel or art project, check him out, because the dude is brilliant. Anyway, when my novel was accepted by my publisher, they sent me a mockup cover for the Wretched. It was okay, but it didn’t really capture the tone of the book, so I reached out to my friend Shane. And like the insane wizard he no doubt is, he created the cover perfectly.

                I wanted to do make a parody of the Satanic Bible. On the cover, you have the Satanic pentagram, famous for showing the inverted five-pointed star with the goat head in the middle, surrounded by rings and a few runes. My idea was to replace the runes with everyday, mundane items like a beer, coffee, hot dogs, donut, and my personal favorite – a purple dildo.

When my wife saw the dick, she asked me, “Is that a dick?”

                “No. It’s a dildo.”

                “Why do you have a dildo?”

                “Why do you have a dildo?” I asked.

                “I don’t have one.”

                “But if you did it’d probably be purple, right?”

                “I can’t show that to my friends now.”

                “Show them later then,” I said.

                There is no real reason to have it there except I think its hilarious. And for my readers, I wanted them to know right off the back that this book, though it deals with serious themes, is first and foremost a comedy. Be it a black one.

                And since the novel follows the redemption of Lucifer, I wanted the symbol of the goat to be dead on the cover of the book, because its symbolic of the central characters metamorphosis from his old, archaic image to something different. And the only way to do that is to kill what he was and what he used to represent on his path to enlightenment and possibly forgiveness.

                So there is a method to my madness and a reason for the cover to be the way it is. I love it. I think it encapsulates everything about the book absolutely perfectly!

                So that’s a  bit on the cover.

                In a nutshell.

                Thanks for reading.

Here is a link to my book, the WRETCHED.

Welcome

My name is Jason Guinn and my book, THE WRETCHED, just came out. You can purchase it over at Amazon – link will be posted below.

In the coming days, I will try and write blogs that focus on writing, Geek culture, and other random stuff I find interesting.

This post will be shorter than future ones, but I just wanted to say Hi.

So, hi.

This is my book. You can get it on Amazon by searching Jason Guinn or The Wretched. Read it, before the forces of darkness consume thee.